Even though Seinfeld made fun of Steinbrenner, the owner reportedly got a kick out of the parody. The famed Yankees owner passed away on Tuesday, and in remembrance of one of the most influential owners in the game's history, here's a top 10 list of Steinbrenner on Seinfeld , only one appearance of which was the actual Boss himself ("The Invitations").
10. The Nap
RECAP: George Costanza is tired, so takes a nap under his desk. Steinbrenner comes in looking for Costanza to tell him he has finally figured out the lyrics to "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benatar and decides to remain in Costanza's office until he returns. Costanza calls Jerry Seinfeld and asks him to phone in a bomb threat, causing Steinbrenner to hide under the desk and finding Costanza. The Boss becomes convinced Costanza has ESP and knew a bomb threat would be called in. He puts Costanza in charge of Seinfeld's demand of fitted hat day for every fan, much to Costanza's chagrin as he now has to find what hat size every attendee wears.
QUOTABLE: "You climbed under that desk because you have ESP. George, what's on my mind? ... Meatballs! Huh. Unbelievable. Anyway this terrorist had a specific demand. Not more cheap adjustable hats on hat day. He wants fitted hats just like the players wear." -- Steinbrenner to Costanza
9. The Caddy
RECAP: George Costanza goes on vacation with his girlfriend, Susan. He leaves his car in the Yankee Stadium parking lot, causing George Steinbrenner to think Costaza is putting in many hours. Costanza receives a promotion to assistant to the general manager, but then assume George is dead after his car suffers damage. Steinbrenner informs Costanza's parents, at which point the father, Frank, complains to Steinbrenner about trading Jay Buhner to the Mariners for Ken Phelps which became a recurring gag.
QUOTABLE: "My name is George Steinbrenner, I'm afraid I have some very sad news about your son." -- Steinbrenner to Costanza's parents
8. The Muffin Tops
RECAP: Costanza, as he is wont to do, lies to his girlfriend about having a job as a hen supervisor for Tyler Chicken after posing as a tourist in New York City. When Costanza "moves" to the city and takes a job with the Yankees to continue dating his girlfriend, Steinbrenner finds out and believes Costanza is holding down two jobs. He calls Tyler Chicken and works out a trade to send Costanza in exchange for all concessions at Yankee Stadium being turned to chicken.
QUOTABLE: "How about this. You give me Costanza, I convert your concessions to all chicken no charge. Instead of hot dogs, chicken dogs. Instead of pretzels, chicken twists. Instead of beer, alcoholic chicken." -- John Tyler to Steinbrenner
7. The Race
RECAP: Elaine Benes' boyfriend, Ned, is a Communist and gets Costanza interested in Communism. His secretary at Yankee Stadium overhears a conversation and tells Steinbrenner that Costanza is a communist. Steinbrenner tasks Costanza with going to Cuba to find the next Cuban star who can play for the Yankees. He refers to a young pitcher named Rodriguez. Steinbrenner also orders Costanza to bring back Cuban cigars.
QUOTABLE: "And bring me back some of those cigars in the cedar boxes, you know the ones with the fancy rings? I love those fancy rings. They kind of distract you while you're smoking. The red and yellow are nice. It looks good against the brown of the cigar. The Maduro, I like the Maduro wrapper. The darker the better, that's what I say. Of course, the Claro's good too. That's more of a pale brown, almost like a milky coffee. I find the ring size very confusing. They have it in centimeters which I don't really understand that well..." -- Steinbrenner to Costanza
6. The Invitations
RECAP: Holding an actual appearance by Steinbrenner, the scenes were deleted before the episode aired but can be seen on DVDs of the seventh season. Steinbrenner asks Costanza to make Elaine Benes the Boss' date for Costanza's upcoming wedding. If Costanza refuses, he loses his job.
QUOTABLE: "I don't like to put undue pressure on people." -- Steinbrenner to Costanza after successfully getting Elaine to agree to be Steinbrenner's date
5. The Jimmy
RECAP: George's boss at Yankee Stadium, Mr. Wilhelm, informs Steinbrenner that shoes and batting doughnuts have gone missing and he believes it is an inside job. Costanza is sweating heavily from playing a game of basketball and later eating spicy chicken, causing Wilhelm to believe Costanza is the culprit. Costanza is called before Steinbrenner where Costanza confuses the Boss by talking in the third person, due to playing basketball with someone who refers to himself in the third person. After Steinbrenner gets confused by Costanza's third-person talking, he switches subjects to what he has for lunch and discloses an affinity for cupcakes.
QUOTABLE: "Well, let's see what I have today. Darn it, it's ham and cheese again and she forgot the fancy mustard. I told her I like that fancy mustard. You could put that fancy mustard on a shoe and it would taste pretty good to me -- Oh! She made it up with a cupcake though. Hey look at this -- you know I got a new system for eating these things. I used to peel off the chocolate; now I turn them upside down, I eat the cake first and save the frosting for the end." -- Steinbrenner to Costanza
4. The Calzone
RECAP: Costanza shares his eggplant calzone with Steinbrenner, which the Boss falls in love with. It then becomes a daily tradition for the two to have an eggplant calzone together, but Costanza is barred from the restaurant, Paisano's, after being caught taking money from a tip jar. The restaurant worker believes Costanza was stealing money but the notoriously cheap Costanza was only recovering some coins he mistakenly added to his tip. Steinbrenner refuses to change lunches, causing Costanza to get the calzones through Newman, who begins picking them up. One day, Newman does not work, causing Costanza to call Kramer with a request to get calzones. Kramer does so, but burns his clothes in the pizza oven after drying it off. Kramer then gets into a fight with the seller, and Kramer is kicked out without the calzones. He goes to Yankee Stadium where Steinbrenner smells Kramer's clothes and gets an idea to put the Yankees' uniforms in a pizza oven so they smell like calzones.
QUOTABLE: "Big Stein wants an eggplant calzone." -- Steinbrenner to Costanza
3. The Secretary
RECAP: Costanza has relations with his secretary, Ada. In the heat of the moment, Costanza promises Ada a raise, and then has to request Steinbrenner give her one. He does, giving Ada a salary greater than Costanza's, much to his chagrin. He appeals to Steinbrenner, who relays a story of when he was financially strapped as well, hitchhiking to work and sitting in a bakery truck. He then gets off-track, talking about his love for cupcakes.
QUOTABLE: "Sure, I like a cupcake every now and then, like everybody else. You know I like it when they have a little cream on the inside, it's a surprise. That's good, plus the chocolate ones are good too. Sometimes I just can’t even make up my mind. A lot of times I’ll mix the two together, make a vanilla fudge." -- Steinbrenner to Costanza
2. The Millennium
RECAP: In an attempt to get fired, Costanza wears Babe Ruth's old uniform and gets food all over it. Steinbrenner instead gets inspired and wears Lou Gehrig's pants.
QUOTABLE: "It's exactly what the organization needed ... We wanna look to the future, we gotta tear down the past. Babe Ruth was nothing more than a fat old man, with little-girl legs. And here's something I just found out recently. He wasn't really a sultan. Ah, what d'you make of that? Hey, check this out. [he stands to reveal he's wearing baseball pants.] Lou Gehrig's pants. Not a bad fit. Hey, you don't think that nerve disease of his was contagious, do you? Uh, I better take 'em off. I'm too important to this team. [Removes the pants to reveal his boxers.] Big Stein can't be flopping and twitching." -- Steinbrenner to Costanza
1. The Wink
RECAP: Despite Costanza being culpable, his co-worker, Mr. Morgan, is fired for transgressions. Steinbrenner then recites the names of all the people he has fired to Costanza, inadvertently naming then-manager Buck Showalter as one. Showalter would go on to be fired in actuality mere weeks after the episode aired. Steinbrenner names Billy Martin four times in his list, a nod to Martin's five firings as manager under Steinbrenner.
QUOTABLE: "You know, as painful as it is, I had to let a few people go over the years. Yogi Berra, Lou Piniella, Bucky Dent, Billy Martin, Dallas Green, Dick Houser, Bill Virdon, Billy Martin, Scott Marrow, Billy Martin, Bob Lemon, Billy Martin, Gene Michael, Buck Showalter, ... uh, tut! ... George, you didn't hear that from me. [George exits] ... George!"
Here are two YouTube clips of Larry David as Steinbrenner: Part 1 -- Part 2
-- Evan Brunell
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